Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
