how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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