I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
