So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
