I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
