Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
