haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
