oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
