god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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