i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
