the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
