respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
