We need to rekindle our bromance
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
