omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize