you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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