I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
