I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
