What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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