Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
