He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
