Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
