Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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