You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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