She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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