i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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