If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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