so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
