What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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