you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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