When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
