my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
