The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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