I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
