The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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