i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
