hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so explain again why im purple
no
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
