"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
