Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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