i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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