a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
