Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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