I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize