What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize