Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
