Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
