we made out on top of his cat.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize