Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
