the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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