thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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