He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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