: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She bit a glass in half.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
