Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Dear god my vagina.
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