I look better un-naked...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize