I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize