So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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