I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
