Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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