how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
