omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
God I need to hump something, right now.
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