Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
