I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
