This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
